For all of you out there who have wonderful sites who have helped me in my grief I want to say thank you. I am now ready to give back a little through my experience and still learning from in hopes to maybe help someone else who is struggling with the loss of their precious child. No matter what the circumstance might be it is never easy. I'm hoping that sharing what life my Daughter did have here on earth will remind us all that we do have a gift, and that gift is MEMORIES that will last a life time that no one can take away. I feel so blessed to have them. The emptiness I feel I have accepted. I think believing that you will ever get over that heart ache is deceiving yourself. So I embrace the tears that I shed and go on till the next time.
This site is about Tara Lynna Jaynes, date of birth February 25, 1977, Heaven date January 7, 2003. She was only 25 years young. She was a young Mother of two boys, Donovan Ryan and Chas Nathaniel, loving Wife of Lonnie ,a Sister, Grandaughter, Niece, Cousin and my only Precious Daughter. Her sudden death was ruled a terminal seizure.
I have written a poem in her memory and have several pictures of her with her family. I hope it touches your heart and reminds you to embrace what you have each moment and be thankful to God for the time you have with every one you are blessed to have in your life.
I'm Reminded by Connie Pence
It only seemed like yesterday when I held you in my arms. The memories of your childhood flood my mind along with the aching in my heart. There are some days more than others I seem to struggle with the loss of you only to be reminded of the blessing to have you in my life even though the years were few. I'm reminded walking down this long rough road hand in hand with grief is just a measure of my love for you which will remain in my heart to keep. I'm reminded of your beauty through your children's smiles and the huge impact of your absence in the hearts of all those you left behind. I'm reminded as I look toward heaven of your eyes so radiant and blue. I'm reminded of your softness...your innocence so true. I'm reminded of your presence I feel in my journey through my grief...with all the precious memories along with the tears I have shed and my laughter a welcomed relief. I'm reminded as each day passes that sadly life goes on but not ever forgetting to be thankful to God for the blessing and privilege given to me to be your Mom. I'm reminded in my moments of silence as I have questioned God's intentions in my struggle of disbelief...that even through this raging storm if I just believe in him...He will give me Peace.
Your
resting place I visit. Place flowers there with care but
no one knows the heartache when I turn and leave you there.
A million times I've needed you a million times I've cried.
It broke
my heart to lose you but you did not go alone. For part of me
went
with you the day God called you home.
- Author Unknown
Dear
Mom,
Please
don't mourn for me. I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side each night and day and within your heart
I
long to stay. My body is gone but I'm always near, I'm everything
you feel, see & hear. My spirit is free, but I'll never
depart, as long as
you keep me alive in your heart. I'll never wander out of your
sight,
I'm the brightest star on a mid summers night. I'll never be
beyond
your reach, I'm the warm moist sand when your at the beach.
I'm the
colorfull leaves when fall comes around and the pure white
snow that blankets the ground.
I'm
the beautiful flowers of which your so fond, the cool clear
water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring, The first
warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm
the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine and you'll
see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking theres no one to love you, you can talk
to me through the Lord above you.
I'll
whisper the answer through the leaves on the trees and you'll
feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep, and the beautiful
dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on a baby's face, just look for me Mom,
I'm everyplace.
- Author Unknown
I
Hear Each Tear Fall On Her Face
My
Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.
She
says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.
I
watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.
But
there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?
I
know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.
Oh
I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.
Yes,
my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name!
The
mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes,
but it never fails to bring music to my ears. Let me hear the
beautiful music of her name. It soothes my broken heart and
sings to my soul.
A
life so young released to Heaven...
Left on Earth, we wonder "why"?
But some are sent among us briefly...
Some have spirits meant to fly.
Thy
Will Be Done
"I'll lend you for a little time
A child of mine," He said
"For you to love there while she lives
And mourn for when she's dead.
It may be six or eleven years, or
twenty-two or three;
But will you, till I call her back,
take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charm to gladden you,
and should her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memory
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay
since all from earth return;
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this wide world over
in my search for teachers true.
And from the throungs that crowd
life's lanes, I have selected you;
For I know you'll give her all your love
nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
to take her back again.
I fancy that I hear you say
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done
For all the joy my child shall bring,
the risk of grief we'll run;
We'll shelter her with tenderness
We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for her
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand.
- Author Unknown
These pictures below reminds me of what my Daughter was all about...
A very special Mother who adored her boys.
"Everything
in our lives happens for a purpose and that purpose is to prepare
us."
-Spencer W. Kimball
"Grieving is a process. It's okay
to experience that process.
To deny the bitterness of the sorrow
is to deny some of the sweetness of the comfort when it comes."
- Chieko N. Okazaki
When
We Lose Our Parents, We Are Orphans,
When We Lose Our Spouse We Are Widows OR Widowers,
But There Is No Word For A Parent
Who Has Lost Their Child.
There Has Never been A Word In Any
Language To Describe The Agony
Of Losing Our Children.
Lord, may I dream the dreams all parents
who've lost a child want to dream to see their child just one
more time. Tonight, Lord, may I have Mine.
This
picture was taken when Tara was 1-1/2 years old, she was Grandpa's
girl.
In Loving Memory of My Dad & Tara's Grandpa
The greastest man in my life, my hero, my strength Wayne
Pence
(May 10, 1935 - January 9, 2004)
Dear Tara,
You would have been 29 this year. The present without
you in it makes the past seem like a dream. It's been painful
to explore the reality of your life and death. I need to face
my life, so I can move forward and do whatever it is that I've
been put on this earth to do. There’s been a lot of confusion
for the last three years because what I thought had been my
whole purpose in life was to be a good mother and to always
be able to be the security that my children needed through all
stages of their lives, but A Mother not being able to protect
her children is a sad realization. Your death made me question
all the beliefs I ever had, everything I thought I knew. I know
now that nothing is certain, nothing but birth and death. Everything
in-between is related to chance or choice. I am not sure where
my life is headed at this point in time...I just try not to
think any further than the moment I am in. Three years later
and I am still here that’s an accomplishment for me in
itself. Never did I think I could go on if I were ever to lose
one of my children. You are forever in our hearts.
Love, Mom
(Written Jan. 14, 2006)
Time does not heal...it makes a half stitched
scar, that can be broken at any given time and again you feel
grief as much as you did in its first hour.
- Author Unknown
These
are Tara & Lonnie's Boys... how they have grown.
If
tears could build a stairway and memories a lane.
I
would walk right up to Heaven and bring you back again.
No
farewell words were spoken. No time to say "Goodbye".
You
were gone before I knew it and only God knows why.
My
heart still aches with sadness, and secret tears still flow.
What
it meant to love you-No one could ever know.
But
now I know you want me to mourn for you no more.
To
remember all the happy times, life still has much in store.
Since
you'll never be forgotten. I pledge to you today.
A hollowed place within
my heart is where you'll always stay.
- Author Unknown
Goodbye's
(The Saddest Word) Lyrics - Celine Dion
A dear friend of mine made me listen
and read the lyrics to this song, I had to share. Thank you,
Kay!
Mamma,
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady
and Mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love
Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever
hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned your young one into a woman
and Mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me
'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child
And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever
hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
But the love you give will always live
You'll always be there every time I call
You are to me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes
And when you need me
I'll be there for you all the way
I'll be there your whole life through
I'll be there this I promise you Mamma
I'll be your beacon through the darkest
night
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes
Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever
hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye
'Till we meet again...
Until then... Goodbye
In
loving memory of a beloved friend of Tara
Danny Rogers
July 23, 1976 - July 11, 2007
Hugs From Heaven
When you feel a gentle breeze
Caress you when you sigh
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From a loved one way up high.
If a soft and tender raindrop
Lands upon your nose
They've added a small kiss
As fragile as a rose.
If a song you hear fills you
With a feeling of sweet love
It's a hug sent from Heaven
From someone special up above.
If you awaken in the morning
To a bluebird's chirping song
It's music sent from Heaven
To cheer you all day long.
If tiny little snowflakes
Land upon your face
It's a hug sent from Heaven
Trimmed with Angel lace.
So keep the joy in your heart
If you're lonely my dear friend
Hugs that are sent from Heaven
A broken heart will mend.
- Charlotte Anselmo
The
Loss, Grief
& Mourning Webring
of
PhenomenalWomen.com®
This site is about Tara Lynna Jaynes, date of birth February 25, 1977, Heaven date January 7, 2003. She was only 25 years young. She was a young Mother of two boys, Donovan Ryan and Chas Nathaniel, loving Wife of Lonnie ,a Sister, Grandaughter, Niece, Cousin and my only Precious Daughter. Her sudden death was ruled a terminal seizure.
It only seemed like yesterday when I held you in my arms. The memories of your childhood flood my mind along with the aching in my heart. There are some days more than others I seem to struggle with the loss of you only to be reminded of the blessing to have you in my life even though the years were few. I'm reminded walking down this long rough road hand in hand with grief is just a measure of my love for you which will remain in my heart to keep. I'm reminded of your beauty through your children's smiles and the huge impact of your absence in the hearts of all those you left behind. I'm reminded as I look toward heaven of your eyes so radiant and blue. I'm reminded of your softness...your innocence so true. I'm reminded of your presence I feel in my journey through my grief...with all the precious memories along with the tears I have shed and my laughter a welcomed relief. I'm reminded as each day passes that sadly life goes on but not ever forgetting to be thankful to God for the blessing and privilege given to me to be your Mom. I'm reminded in my moments of silence as I have questioned God's intentions in my struggle of disbelief...that even through this raging storm if I just believe in him...He will give me Peace.
